Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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