Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
