Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
