i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
