fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
