Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
