i think my tv is drunk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
