Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
