im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
