my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
