ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
