I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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