I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
