i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
