Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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