I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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