i just had sex bonerless
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
