She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
