His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
