theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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