This girl is more easily done than said...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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