No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
