carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
