Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
