Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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