so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
