I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
