mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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