How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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