I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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