so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
