I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
then he tried to convert me to islam
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
