pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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