Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
