How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
