I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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