yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
