i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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