i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
