I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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