I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
