i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
