Sponge bath it is.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
