I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
