people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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