oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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