if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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