I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
