They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
