Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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