the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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