rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
