please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
