And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
